4 04 2009

Okay, so I’ve got major countertransference going on with a client. M A J O R.

Good things about this:

1. I’m aware of it

2. I am seeking supervision around it

3. I am working hard to figure out how to deal with this person clinically and not let my own crap get in the way

4. I’m certain there is a lesson in this somewhere.

Ass Sucking things about this:

1. I feel irritated. ALOT.

2. I am dreading groups when he actually shows up for treatment.

3. Most of my time in group is dominated by redirecting and refocusing this person’s behavior.

I have tried and tried to figure out if there is someone in my life that he reminds me of. I can’t pinpoint it. The BEHAVIOR however is one that really pushes my buttons. You know the one, the “I know everything about everything, I’m going to make sure everyone knows it, I’m going to sit next to you to enhance my feelings of being an expert and attempts to cofacilitate this group, I don’t have a problem but I come to treatment anyway, even though I am aggressive, abusive, negative, bossy, confrontational with nearly everyone in my life, I use all of these communication, anger managment, and mindfulness skills you are teaching which I am going to be sure to point out so everyone really gets that I know it all” -itis???

Oh for the love of god. Somebody help me.

It takes all of my strength to not want to scream “WHY ARE YOU HERE IF YOU ALREADY KNOW IT ALL?”

I know, I know….the behavior is not about me. I need to not personalize it, this is just his defenses coming up……but it doesn’t make it any less frustrating.



2 responses

7 04 2009

Oh, girl. You know what? Sometimes we just don’t like the people we work with. That’s OK. We can’t click with everyone. Just bring some duct tape to your next group…. =)

16 08 2009

Interesting!! I’m dealing with a very similar situation with an inmate/patient in a treatment group. Also seeking some supervision around it. Sounds like you were writing about him. I wonder if they are identidcal twins?!? Hah!

The guy always shows up and sits next to me, as you mentioned. Thankfully, several other men in the group seem sincerely motivated to learn and attempt change so I’m able to encourage them to share more which leads to fewer opportunities for the other guy to dominate. The last few weeks, he (difficult guy) actually has provided decent, potentially meaningful feedback to other guys who have been struggling with specific issues dealing with anger.

I kind of dreaded the group this week, but it was a good bit better.

Hopefully a shift is occurring!


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